The Last chapter

 In 1967, tousle-haired Doors frontman and self proclaimed "Lizard King", Jim Morrison had a hit with a less-than-jolly singalong called "The End".

And in a freakish coincidence, this is the end of our trip, AND we saw a huge monitor lizard today.  (Cannot confirm if it was royalty, however it wasn't wearing a crown.....)

Far out man.......

Priced out of our favourite last stop, Ao Nang (curse of the high season), we've spent the last few days in its quieter, uglier neighbour, Aonam Mao.

In its favour is that it's cheaper than Ao Nang. On the downside, there's only one decent bar, on the beach, and home to eye-wateringly expensive beer.....

There's a longtail taxi service though, so you can at least escape during the day.....

Thanks for sticking with us on this trip. (I realise it hasn't been easy)

Rest assured, we'll be back soon...

(Unless there's a pie at the airport tomorrow!)

The Nature Trail

 This morning we decided we'd done quite enough lounging about on the beach, occasionally harassing the reef fish.

And so it was that we arrived at The Nature Trail.  Advertised as a 1.1km walk through jungle with a 'small sandy beach' thrown in it sounded just like our sort of thing.

Well there was certainly jungle. 

We'd hoped to spot a few animals on the walk, but aside from some  German tourists, a large unidentified grey lizard-shaped thing that moved too fast to really see it and a couple of small geckos (they may have been skinks, unfortunately I didn't have my Collins book of reptiles to hand so I can't say for sure) there wasn't  much to see.

The jungle was good though, and the trail followed the coastline.

Our trek ended at the 'small sandy beach' which was utterly lovely.

Khao Lak

 We've made good our escape and are now 190km down the coast in Khao Lak. 

We've settled into our jungle bungalow/ little red shack with only a minor annoyance from a burly Russian who initially refused to leave our shack.  ( This need to annex things must be bred into them...)

Finally, realising that he was no match for a couple of plucky Brits (veterans of Chumphon and Ranong), he gave way and ambled off like a disgruntled bear.

The disputed territory.

Khao Lak is a busy old place, most of the action (and there's a lot of it) taking place on either side of the sometimes busy Highway 4.

JB rather hopefully referred to it as a strip town, but as regular readers will know, I am under an injunction not to remove my clothing in public, so that put a stop to any of his  shenanigans.

There are lots of tour operators in town, all offering variations on a couple of themes: 

Diving/snorkelling, or Bamboo rafting and feeding some bananas to an elephant.

The diving trip was in excess of £130, and as you're no doubt aware, I don't dive and JB won't pay that much.

To our complete amazement, the rafting trip to an elephant Sanctuary in order to stuff the pachyderms with bananas was around £100 . Each.

What a swizz! Firstly, during our last attempt at bamboo rafting, the raft fell apart and JB got his foot stuck in the hole.

And secondly, the world and his wife know that elephants prefer buns.

We went instead to the local beach and had a perfectly lovely (rafting and elephant free) day.

What's wrong with Ranong?

 In the interests of fair reporting (and also fear of legal action by Ranong Council) we decided to try and view the place with a slightly less jaundiced eye.

First though, we made straight for the bus station and booked two seats on the first bus out of here tomorrow.....

Mission accomplished, we boarded a tuk-tuk to The Governor's House.  (note the use of capitals there, this guy was obviously a big cheese round here)

Our arrival was greeted by a really angry pack of dogs (possibly carrying rabies, I couldn't be certain). 

JB fearlessly swung his rucksack at them but it didn't help all that much. 

Eventually, the ferocious canines got bored and ambled off, although they kept up the barking and snarling, lest we should think we'd won.

Obviously shaken, we rounded the corner and there it was: The Governor's House.

It's important to note at this point that this is how it's depicted by Ranong City Tourist Board:

And this is what it's actually like:

It may just have been the stress of the dog attack but I felt strangely cheated.......

Ranong appears to have very little in the way of nightlife. It's a bit like Morecambe but on really heavy duty sedatives.

Last night, however, after extensive searching we came across 3 or 4 bars grouped together, mostly empty.

The appear to have leaned heavily on the Las Vegas themed-hotel idea. (possibly hoping to be twinned - it's important to have a dream)

Indeed, as you'll see in a second, they've very nearly pulled it off ( if Las Vegas had no gambling, nightlife or ambience of any kind)

Blogmates, I give you Ranong, the 'Non-Las Vegas ' of Thailand....

Tudor mansion bar

Midwestern farmhouse bar

Wild west bar

By the way, we saw the steamroller again today......

Into the void

 Good whatever-time-of-day it is for you, blogmates. 

Since we last spoke, we've crossed the country. 

Firstly, we jumped on a train  (literally, as the train floor was at least 2 feet below the platform) from Pran Buri to the wonderfully and somehow aptly named CHUMPhon.

JB'S trusty and well thumbed guide book had warned us that this was no more than a transit stop for most people and that one night was usually enough to sample its delights 

In my opinion, one night was probably more than enough.

There was a temple. (Luckily for you it was being renovated, so no pics) and precious little else.

Fuelled by desperation, the next morning we caught a coach bound for Ranong, on the Western side of Thailand. 

First impressions were not great.

We appeared to have arrived in a humid tropical version of Colne on half closing day, but not as glamorous, although we did watch a steam roller for a while. Fascinating. 

We did a bit of half-hearted sight seeing this evening, which involved being denied entry to the local palace (apparently it was the wrong day) and hiring some questionable socks (no idea why)  in order to walk up the 'Skyway ' to see the view/sunset.

And that really, is where we leave you for now.......

Hoping to get transport to anywhere soon.

 

Foreign Pie News

 Mushroom Pie. 7-11 shop PranBuri 

This offering resembled the much revered Greggs steak bake in shape at least

All similarity ended there however. 

The pastry, whilst not as face flannel textured as previous Thai offerings, certainly lacked any hint of crispness. Or pastry really.

The filling was, on first sight,  slightly off-putting. Beige goo studded with darker beige bits.

But.

And this is crucial.  It tasted very much like (admittedly cold) Campbell's condensed mushroom soup.

I know what you're thinking, but honestly, although it shouldn't have been, it was surprisingly tasty .

A more than reasonable effort. 

May well have been better if hot....

A day at the beach

 Following on from JB's negative sewage report, we thought that a day at the beach might be just the ticket.

Unfortunately, our nearest beach, although definitely sewage free, was also sand free.

Not so much a beach as a series of seaweed covered steps.

Fearing yet another dupe, we turned our attention to Khao Kalok beach, some 6k up the road.

The problem was, how to get there. (Our combined knee age being around 256 years)

Luckily, there was a taxi service advertised outside the local bar. The ageing owner, (leaning heavily on a crutch owing to a fairly withered left leg and dropped foot) said he'd be pleased to take us.

He then led us around the back of his beach shack/bar to his 'taxi'.....

Summoning a courage I didn't know I possessed, I perched on the aluminium table you see in the picture. (He'd thoughtfully placed a cushion but the wind blew it off)

JB got on the back of the motorbike and we were off.

Throughout the ensuing white knuckle ride, the barman kept shouting "next stop Chiang Mai", a distance some 900k north.

Eventually we reached the beach. The barman disappeared into the distance, still randomly shouting "Chiang Mai ".

The beach itself was lovely. Clean, not too busy, reasonable toilets (by Thai standards) and best of all, rocks for JB to climb on!

All in all, a lovely day out. (Apart from the 6k walk home......)