Carpet bagged

Today's tour began at the ungodly hour of 6am, with an alarm call thoughtfully booked (without our knowledge) by our increasingly deranged tour guide, Doner Trump.

Oh how we laughed.........

Especially as the coach wasn't leaving until 7.30.....

After a brief 10 minute stop to look at some hot air balloons ('Most popular ones in Turkey'), we were off to our first stop of the day.

THE CARPET WORKSHOP

Universally feared by all right-minded people, the Carpet Workshop, along with its equally evil siblings, The Leather Showroom and The Jewellery Makers Centre form an unholy trinity of places you're forced into during one of these tours.

Once inside, and with the doors securely fastened, you're asked to:

Marvel at the skill of the wizened old peasant crone seated on a platform, weaving a carpet!

Exclaim at the natural dyes used!

Gasp at the silkworm cocoons!

Then it's on to the saleroom where, after a softening up glass of raki, carpets of all shapes and sizes are unfurled before your delighted gaze.

And a bargain at only £2000 each.

Once the carpet-flinging has died down, the real business begins. Hapless tour members are paired off with a salesman and woe betide you should your gaze wander from your shoes for a millisecond.

Old hands at this game however, JB and I drank the raki and, once the saleroom door opened, headed straight to the coffee shop, rounding up less experienced tour members as we went.

I regret to say that three of our party succumbed to the hard sell, but we managed to save over 25 fellow travellers.

 Back on the coach, Doner proudly reminded us that these carpets are the best in the world, as indeed are the peasants girls who weave them  and in fact anything remotely Turkish in origin.

Then it was time for lunch.

We were herded into a restaurant  where a set menu had been prepared (scrambled egg as a starter was a new experince for me, but given that it was still only 11.30, I suppose the confusion was understandable) .

Throughout the meal, we were entertained/tormented by Bouzouki Bill (not his real name).  Bill's optimism clearly knew no bounds as fastened to his bouzoki was a small basket labelled 'Tips'...

Once back on board the coach, Doner broke the news that tomorrow's widely anticipated tour of  'The treasures of  Ephesus ' would not as imagined take place within the city. Instead, we're going to drive round the outside and look at some photos she has of the actual treasures behind the walls.

Considering how the day had gone so far, this news was not well received. The atmosphere was as tense as I imagine  it was on HMS Bounty shortly before they lowered the rowing boat.

And then it started to rain.........