Well, it's happened. The crowbar of time has prised us from our sublime tropical holiday and deposited us here, back in Bangkok.
(Actually it was AirAsia)
To paraphrase the much underrated talent that was Roger Whittaker: ' Tomorrow for Old England we sail'
(Obviously we're flying)
Thank you for your company on this trip. As ever, I pray you've not been permanently scarred by what you've witnessed .
And as a last farewell, I leave you with these. (Try not to have nightmares.)
A bientot!
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Reluctantly, we've turned our backs on the dim lights and non-existent hedonism of Krabi.
We're back in Ao Nang, where this trip began.
Basically, we're both in need of a holiday from our holiday if you see what I mean.
For JB, this is almost certainly going to involve climbing up something.
For me, well, I'll be climbing onto a sun-lounger.
We plan to meet up at the end of each day to see the sunset.
It is pretty spectacular.........
It's come to my attention that the reason I hankered after visiting Krabi Town is because I confused Krabi Town with Krabi Province.
Different kettle of mudskipper* altogether.
So, anyway. Apologies to JB, whose rants now seem perfectly reasonable.
*Here's a video of a Krabi mudskipper to further divert attention from my lack of judgement.
Krabi is a town that we've often driven through on our way to somewhere else.
I've occasionally wondered about spending some time here, but JB has always been dead set against it.
Indeed, he often becomes really quite agitated when discussing it, having visited it once, many years ago.
So, it came as something of a surprise to both of us to arrive here last night.
First impressions were not good.
The excellent Tom Waits sums the place up nicely in his song 'The Town With No Cheer'.
With scarcely a bar or restaurant open, we were back in our hotel by 9pm, hoping for better things in the morning.
The new day dawned and still not much cheer....
I'm beginning to suspect that the name Krabi is in fact a typo.......
A visit to the local temple lifted our spirits somewhat.
Excellent wallpaper and a statue of the Buddha carrying a baguette.....
And, yes, that's right. It's a load of balls......
After lunch,(restaurant open till 5pm) we set out for the Andaman Cultural Centre.
A modern-day temple of the Arts & Culture, it's home to exhibitions of paintings and sculptures not only by local artists (many of whom seemed to be either visually impaired or on drugs), but genuine copies of famous paintings from other galleries (copyright paid for).
If only I'd realised that I could get up close to the Mona Lisa, I'd never have bothered with the crowds in the Louvre.
Thrillingly, we discovered that the Centre is also home to the Bead Museum!
Suddenly all was well with the world.
Inside the Bead Museum however, things began to spiral downward quite quickly.
There were no beads on display, apart from some oversized replicas in an art installation type thing.
More baffling still was this next exhibit.....
JB was especially put out that there was no mention whatsoever of his favourite 8th century historian, the Venerable Bede.
All in all, a huge disappointment .
Spinach pie : Coffee shop (possibly Japanese), Don Mueang Airport.
The pastry was, at first glance, puff.
However a closer inspection revealed it to be flaky pastry and actually reasonably good (if a little greasy)
Filling-wise, very tasty. Definitely spinach based. And a hefty amount of it too.
An exceptional effort, and one which I'm fairly certain Popeye would enjoy.
Mushroom pie: Same location as above.
Pastry was once again flaky masquerading as puff (and still greasy)
The filling was minimalist and would be improved by the addition of a mushroom or two. Or anything really.
Following on from the excellent spinach effort, this one was a cruel disappointment.
I waited all day yesterday for the monk's blessing to take effect on my knees.
Nothing.
And so, after a frankly baffling breakfast which included a hot dog sausage, we boarded a minivan and prepared to have 'A Day Out'.
First stop was Erawan National Park.
Essentially, it's a walk uphill through manicured jungle, passing by various waterfalls on the way.
Very scenic, I have to say, but given that there are seven of the blighters and still no mystical knee assistance, I turned back after number five.
It should come as no surprise to anyone that JB conquered all seven.....
Then it was time for lunch (very nice, not a hot dog in sight) and back into the van for the second half of the 'Day Out'.
Our destination was the Hellfire Pass. Named by the Australian prisoners of war who lost the most men in its construction, today it's a peaceful place.
The excellent information centre (funded by the Australian government) lays bare the sheer awfulness of the lives (and deaths) of the men who were forced to work here.
I feel very conflicted about places like this being tourist attractions.
On the other hand the literally thousands who died on this thing deserve recognition.
And respect. Lots of respect.
Next stop was a train ride on the snappily titled 'Death Railway '.
It's so named because, as already mentioned, so very many people died during its construction.
Not sure if that's filtered through to today's world:
No matter.
The train took us back through delightful countryside to Kanchanaburi and a couple of cold beers.
We hired a songthaew and driver for the day, determined to see what Kanchanaburi had to offer apart from atrocity-linked artefacts.
Before long, we'd left the city behind and were making our way to Wat Ban Tham, or Dragon Head Cave Temple.
It's a thigh-twanging 900 steps up to the top. On the way up, you pass through caves full of statues of the Buddha.
In one of the caves, a monk was on hand, presumably to offer a spiritual lift for the short of breath.
Sadly, he was busy playing Angry Birds on his phone so we were forced to continue unblessed.
About two thirds of the way up, I could take no more.
In a manner reminiscent of Captain Oates, I urged JB to go on without me.
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If you look closely at where the arrow is pointing, you may just be able to make out a flushed but triumphant JB.
With barely any time to recuperate (and no oxygen cylinders available), we continued with the tour.
The guide book had warned us that our next stop, Wat Tham Suea or Tiger temple is accessed by yet more stairs (if you build them, we will climb them), but not to worry, there is a funicular railway up to the top.
It wasn't going anywhere........
We resolutely started climbing.
The place is stuffed full of tiger images (the clue is in the name I guess...)
Some are better than others...
The temple is famous for its enormous Buddha. (18m high)
Unfortunately, he had the builders in.
Hopefully once they've finished him, they'll make a start on the funicular railway.
The temples themselves were very impressive .
But best of all, we found a cave with a blessing-willing monk. (It's made no difference to my knees yet...)
Last stop was to stare at the marvel known as 'The Giant Tree'.
Prepared to be disappointed, (as ever) we cautiously approached.
This Tree is MASSIVE. Seriously.
I suspect it may have its own postcode.
Overall then, a good day out and definitely railway-free.
Bonus content:
There were all kinds of animal statues dotted around the temple grounds.
Here's a cockatoo.
I trust you can make your own jokes.
Pull up a seat while I tell you a tale of long ago........
In 2009, JB and I , younger, and almost certainly less jaded, visited Kanchanaburi on a day trip from Bangkok.
It made such an impression on us that, a mere 14 years later, we've come back.
Our main interest back then was in seeing and indeed riding on the famous (infamous?) Death Railway.
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About 18,000 POW'S and between 80 and 100,000 forced labour civilians died during its construction.
They reckon that equates to one life per sleeper laid.
Horrible.
But we'd heard that there was much more than that to the town, and we intend to do our best to find out.
And if anyone can. .......
