Borobodur & Pramabanan temples

 We've pitched up in Central Java. Specifically we're in Yogyakarta. 

Sole purpose of coming here was to view the two UNESCO World Heritage sites at Borobodur and Pramabanan. 

Yep, that's right, TWO of the blighters.

But before we get on to the UNESCO splendour, a quick word about Yogyakarta.

It's Java's second city (after Jakarta) and expectations were high when we arrived.

However......

The local government in Yogyakarta have, for 'religious reasons' passed a law banning the sale of alcohol in convenience stores.  The cafés and restaurants were, in the main, quick to follow.

Now, if you've been with the blog for any length of time, you'll be aware of what a blow this has been to us.

Thus far, we've found one restaurant that sells beer. It has a pitifully small menu and is situated in an alleyway where the rats run freely across the telegraph wires.

We've been every night so far....

To business then. 

Naturally, with TWO UNESCO jobs to view, it was an early start. 

First stop: Borobodur. 

A Buddhist temple, famed for its lattice work stupas.

The entrance fee for the two UNESCO sites combined was $40. 

Eyebrows were raised, but surely this was an indicator of the quality of what lay beyond the entrance gate.

Heartbreakingly, once we'd stumped up the fee, we learned that the temple was closed 'for cleaning' and we could only walk around the outside.

Compare and contrast the advertising brochure with the meagre fare that we were left with.

The promised view.

What you're allowed to see.

JB reckoned that there was a hilltop nearby from where we could catch a sneaky glimpse of the (paid for yet undelivered) glory. 

On we climbed, through the heat and humidity, until at last, the hilltop came into view.

Imagine our disappointment to see this:

We walked back to the car (hired for the day  complete with driver, improbably named Andy).

Neither of us said anything, but the words 'rotten swizz' hung heavy in the air.

On then, to site number 2, Pramabanan. 

Allegedly the largest Hindu temple in SE Asia, although JB is sceptical about this.

As we approached the first temple, dedicated to Shiva, a fragile shoot of hope began to emerge.

The temple complex certainly looked impressive.....

Sadly, it wasn't to be. 

Can you guess what day it is???

So, on we stumbled, gnashing teeth and bitterly regretting that rash $40 spent on tickets.

There were 3 other temples on the site, in various states of disrepair. (They get a LOT OF earthquake and volcano activity round here)

I don't intend to inflict them all on you, but here's a selection of what we saw:

Obviously, there were some nicer bits, but you know me......

I leave you with a view of what appeared to be a temple dedicated to those who've joined witness protection.

Foreign Pie News

 After a shocking drought on the pie front, we now have two pies, both bought at the train station cafe inside Yogyakarta Airport.

1: Beef pie.

Flaky pastry, not as greasy as we've been used to. Quite good.

Filling was labelled as 'beef'. I'm sure you're aware that a cow has a fair few body parts, any of which could legally be classified as beef. 

I'm uncertain as to which bits this pie contained and preferred not to ask.

It came with a handy sachet of fairly pleasant chilli sauce.

All in all, not a bad effort.

A Vauxhall Conference League version of the mighty Greggs Steak Bake.

2: Banana, Chocolate and Cheese Pie. (Yes, that's what I said)

Pastry, as above.

Filling. Well there was definitely a banana in there, and rather a lot of chocolate spread. As for the cheese..... not really evident.

Although we did see some grated bits inside the pie.....

Put it this way, there was no evidence of mature cheddar.

Despite the lack of cheese (or more probably because of it), it was a tasty snack.

Well done, that deranged Javanese pastry chef. 

Sacred Monkey Forest

 We're back in Ubud for a couple of nights, and, short of something to do, decided to visit the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary.

Regular readers will be aware that we've got something of a hate/hate relationship with the vicious furry bandits, but nevertheless, we stumped up the entrance fee and prepared to do battle.

Far more distracting than imminent monkey attack though, were the array of statues dotted around the entrance:

Moving swiftly on, we entered the forest proper.

First up was a useful list of guidelines for how to behave in a monkey encounter.  (Pointless really, I don't think they can read.....)

Thus, fully prepared we set off into the forest.

It was a really lovely place (if a tad humid) . Quite jungle-like in places.

And stuffed full of monkeys.

Monkeys of all shapes and sizes.

Thankfully  they seemed far more interested in fighting each other than attacking us. (Maybe they HAD read the guidelines....)

There are a couple of temples in the forest. 

(Monkey infested. Obviously. )

And, intriguingly  a cemetery. My first thought was that it was for deceased monkeys, but I was way off the mark.

In fact, it's where the local villagers bury their dead until the next mass cremation. Which is held every 5 years....... 

As JB pointed out, a horrible job for the unlucky chap that has to dig them up, but at least he only works one day in every 5 years.

Eagle eyed readers will, by now, be wondering why there are no pictures of either forest or monkeys.

Here's some foresty-type pics  but I refuse to give the thieving simian louts any publicity.

Oh, go on then......

Gili Trawangan

 Today we decided to have a short holiday from our holiday and visit one of Gili Air's sister islands, Gili Trawangan.

It's the biggest of the 3 Gili islands (a whopping 6.5 miles around) and is the most built up.

We boarded the fast boat and headed off to the "Big City".

On arrival, we were shocked by the sheer number of people. We must have seen 20 or 30 people in the first 10 minutes. 

That's more than we see in a day on Gili Air.......

Other things were reassuringly familiar. Bicycles, pearl sellers and horse and cart chaps (Though again lots more than we were used to).

Feeling slightly overwhelmed, we made for a beach that JB had earmarked as a place to play among the volcanic boulders that littered the shoreline. 

I should probably say now that the islands themselves were formed from the volcanic eruption of Gunung Rinjang (on Lombok) in 1492.

But I guess you knew that......

Mucking about on lava completed, we continued our circumnavigation of the island. The North proved to be the nicest bit (as it so often is...)

Stopping for a restorative pineapple juice at a bar in the optimistically named Turtle Point, we were mildly sceptical of the barman's claims that there were, in fact, turtles in them there waves.

However ..... a closer scrutiny revealed a definite turtle snout breaking the surface!!

Without further ado, it was on with the snorkels and into the sea.

And after a couple of false starts (my mask fogged up, my snorkel took on water, I am a master diver) there it was. Only a bloody turtle. That's all.

I swam around with it for quite some time and, although we didn't actually exchange numbers, I felt we had a connection.

All too soon it was time to get back on the fast boat home, both of us with daft grins plastered to our faces.

All in all, a grand day out.

To the best of our knowledge, no turtles were traumatised in the making of this blog.

Gili Air

 We've washed up on the shores of the wonderful Gili Air.

Situated off the coast of Lombok, and a whopping 3 miles in circumference, it's a tiny tropical paradise.

Cars are banned. As are motorbikes and scooters. (Though you do see some electric ones ambling round)

The main form of transport is bicycle, trotters or horse and cart.

Now I know what you're thinking. Horse and cart eh? Surely you must spend your time tiptoeing through the dollops.

Not so, my friends. Thoughtfully the islanders have attached what can only be described as "poo bags" to the rear of the horse.

Who empties them, and indeed where they're emptied remains shrouded in secrecy.

Thankfully.

There's really not much to do here, apart from relax, snorkel from the beach and sink the odd beer. (Dehydration, as you are well aware, being a potential killer)

And it suits us perfectly......

Here's looking at Ubud

 Without a backward glance, we shook the garbage-ridden sands of Kuta from our flip flops, got in a taxi and joined the traffic jam headed for Ubud.

Surrounded by lush green rice fields, it's known as a centre for traditional crafts and dance (spoiler alert).

It's also,  apparently, where the film 'Eat,Love,Pray ' was filmed.......

(No, nor me)

Anyway, once settled in we went in search of these lush green rice fields.

Surprisingly, only a short distance out of town, we found some.  (This was fortunate, as the humidity was nudging 90% and, despite my jungle training, I was feeling it a bit)

It's certainly lush. And green. However I was unable to verify that it's rice.....

As well as the lush green rice fields, the town is home to lots of temples.

Most are covered in a rich combination of mildew and moss.

And as the outstanding features are the statues inside, I'm going to show you some of those rather than the outsides.

I'm afraid you're on your own with these. Make up appropriate myths as you see fit.

In the evening, we went to see a Kecak fire dance.

This tells the story of the Ramayana

(Rama and Sita - you MUST know them. Lovely couple).

There's  no orchestra, just a group of around 50 chaps all chanting chak-a-chak-a in a quite melodious way.

(I accept that you may have had to be there.....)

So, once Rama and Sita had done their stuff, out comes a bloke wearing a flimsy hobby horse type thing and proceeded to kick seven shades out of the burning embers of a bonfire which someone had carelessly left unattended.

Thrilling, baffling, and actually quite dangerous. A great performance.

 Well done that hobby horse rider.

The next day found us understandably shaken by the previous evening's entertainment and so we sought solace at the Blanco Renaissance Museum.

This Blanco chap was, it seems, quite the Big Crayon in the Ubud art scene until his death in 1999.

Eagerly, we paid our (obligatory) entrance fee and prepared to be dazzled.

The grounds were lovely, complete with fish pond, fountain, and exotic birds.

It was when we entered the attached gallery containing examples of his work that the trouble began.

The paintings on show, whilst admittedly being very skilfully executed, featured almost without exception Balinese beauties without their vests.

It seems that the Balinese women, (by virtue of carrying baskets of rice on their heads) (???) have the loveliest breasts of all. 

So obviously, you HAVE to paint them. 

JB reckons that they're not Balinese women at all, based on those we've seen round here......

I leave you with a picture of the mucky artist in question:

Bali High?

Anyone who's seen the frankly marvellous Rodgers and Hammerstein musical South Pacific will be immediately at home with the phrase Bali Hai.

(If you're unfamiliar with this Broadway colossus, I urge you to view it. Singing sailors, women washing men out of their hair. It's got it all)

Anyway once again, I digress. 

Lured by this idea of South Sea loveliness and encouraged by the online photos (see below) we've travelled to Kuta Beach, Bali.

I'm sorry to say readers that far from finding Bali Hai, we are in fact, most definitely in Bali Low.

Where to begin? Endless traffic. Motorbikes mounting the pavements to get round the endless traffic.

And the MOST persistent street sellers I've ever come across. (Not that they've managed to sell me anything, obviously, but still  very annoying).

The Beach is,well, long. And artfully decorated with enormous heaps of trash:

To be fair, it was a lot worse in 2021. That's when they had the Big Clean Up Campaign:

Now I know what you're thinking. All they've done is sweep it into manageable heaps.  

And I suspect you may be right.....

It's just that no-one has managed them yet.

Still, there's always the sunset. 

Sunsets on Bali are (rightly) famed for their beauty, nay glory, and we were determined to get a piece of the action.

We headed to the beach and found a spot between the rubbish mounds.

The tension began to mount as the minutes ticked by.

Would the sunset let us down by being a dud?

My attention, however, was elsewhere.  Next to me on the beach, an elderly man (not JB) was having his toenails clipped by a beach masseuse. I watched in fascinated horror as his elderly trotters got the full treatment. 

Ahhh the unimaginable romance of it all...

Reluctantly  I returned my gaze to the horizon.

The sun was definitely dipping.

And......praise be! It wasn't dud.  

I leave you with a final piece of advice.  Be careful when you're collecting shells. They may not always be what you think...

Ayutthaya

 Ayutthaya was the capital of Siam from 1350 until 1767.

JB and I have very fond memories of an afternoon spent here some years back. With that in mind, we booked in for a couple of nights of dreamy reminiscing.

Imagine our dismay, then, on arriving at our hotel to find ourselves in a place that was slightly worse than Hartlepool.

On early closing day.

In a recession.

Ayutthaya is, you may be alarmed to hear, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. (You know the drill by now. Ruins. Ruins. And a few more ruins)

We set off fully prepared for a day's marvelling . (See below)

Keep calm - Don't lose your head...

He's seen the root of the problem.

JB and I discussed exactly why the Thais upped and left these buildings. He reckons it's to do with the pesky Burmese coming in and giving the city the good news from the back of  a few war elephants.

I maintain that the upkeep of the buildings was just too expensive.(white emulsion might be cheap, but they'd have needed gallons of the stuff). 

The canny Thais  realising that they'd saddled themselves with what was essentially a money pit, took the sensible option and slung their hooks.

And to prove my point, here IS the very money pit.........

I rest my case.

The next day, we hired the services of a tuk-tuk and called in at a few more temples.

The tuk-tuk was a marvellous pink one, bringing to mind Lady Penelope's car.  

If she'd gone around in an ex-dodgem-turned-motorised-van type thing.

Sadly, the driver's name wasn't Parker.

In fact, he insisted on being called 'M' (not a patch on Judi Dench to my mind, but there we are)

He took us to see some good stuff though. Including:

The Buddha 5-a-side team

A leopard-print/camouflage Buddha

This monk, who blessed me and JB by whacking us on the head with a wet stick.

And finally, a temple dedicated entirely to all things  of a rooster persuasion.  (Desperately trying to avoid the obvious word)

So, there you have it. 

Ayutthaya.  Ruins and cocks. (It had to be said)

Incidentally, I've decided to run a competition.  

In the picture below is (allegedly ) a Throne Room.

Using your skill and judgement mark its position with the UNESCO World Heritage symbol.

Closest entrant may win a prize....