Bako foiled

We keep seeing advertisements for Bako National Park. A tropical paradise of a place where you can get close to nature, enjoy a swim in the sea and relax on the pleasant beaches. Here's the poster.

Now, as you know, we have unfinished business with the big nosed monkeys, and the chance to get up close and personal seemed too good to miss.

And so we set off this morning, via a school bus and a buttock-punishing speedboat, keeping a close watch for any love struck warrior intent on bagging my bonce.

On arrival, we were informed that it was too dangerous to swim in the sea due to "marine stingers", and the best beach was closed owing to a sighting of a crocodile.....

Undeterred, (well a bit deterred), we struck out along the jungle trail, waiting to bump into some wildlife.

I saw some crabs, and a monitor lizard (small), but no sign of the big conks, or anything else on the poster come to that.

The trail ended at a crocodile free beach, which was actually very nice.
JB tried climbing some rocks in order to entice the monkeys out of hiding. World this entice you??

Well, whether it would entice you or not, the fact is, it worked!! On the way back to the boat we saw a troop of about 5 of the beasts, but in a manner that is becoming depressingly familiar to me, as soon as I got my camera out, they turned round and presented me with their rear ends. I'm not going to dignify it with a picture. 

I don't know how David Attenborough puts up with it......

JB's Secret Shame

It's widely accepted across the globe that bon viveur, JB is something of a liver abuser.
I personally have never met anyone with a  finer tuned ability to seek out beer.
However, brace yourselves. It would appear that he has been leading a double life.
I found this bottle on open sale today in the local grocers.....

Oh how the mighty are fallen.....

Keep your head

We've had time to settle in to Kuching and to do a bit of exploring.
And I've discovered some pretty shocking stuff, blogmates.
It seems that this area was once (and possibly still is ) inhabited by headhunters.
In times gone by, when your average Iban warrior wanted to propose to the young lady of his choice, there was none of this nipping down to H.Samuels for a ring.
No mates, the accepted form of prenuptial love token was  a severed head.  (Oh the romance of it all....)
After the wedding, the skull was hung up in the house for good luck (although it hadn't been very lucky for the victim.....)

All of which may go some way to explaining why JB is still unmarried, decapitation being illegal in the UK.

Ker-ching! We've hit the jackpot!!

Still in Borneo, (3rd largest island In the world, don't you know), but we've waved goodbye to Sabah and are now in Sarawak. 

Kuching, to be precise.

It's a delightful place. We're staying in a hotel on the waterfront (no sign of Marlon Brando.....), with views out over the river. It's a bit like Chester, but foreign....

And the best thing about it, blog mates, is that is stuffed full of temples! Let the good times roll!!

Here's a couple of pics to whet your appetite.  (More to follow, unless you can raise the necessary cash....)

Remember, your donation could make the difference.....

Spot the monkey

Today we signed up for a trip that promised unrivalled views of proboscis monkeys ( that's big nosed to you and me), and fireflies.
We set out in our sturdy boat.

The monkeys were somewhat shyer than we'd been led to believe....
Here's a picture with a monkey in it. If you can correctly spot the monkey, you will be entered into a draw. The winner will receive some bananas each month, until we lose interest.
Good luck.

Once we'd completed the exciting monkey challenge, we were forced to visit a derelict strip of beach to watch yet another sunset, this time over the South China Sea.
 I'm only including this pic because we had to endure it and I see no reason why you shouldn't, too.

Sunset over, ( ho hum), It was back into the boat to view the fireflies. I have to say it was breathtaking. They pulsed on and off in the trees in a quite lovely fashion.

This picture appears to have been taken in the "off" phase. ....

Temples: an apology

Those of you who are especially keen on viewing foreign temples (and I know you are many ) may be asking yourselves when will we see some of  Borneo's finest?
The answer is simple, mates.  Kinabalu was almost completely destroyed following  2 bombing raids in WW 2, intended to repel the Japanese ( that's right. So good they bombed it twice.....)
The result is that almost no building is now more than 65 years old, and certainly no temples worth reporting on......
sorry.....

Two go wild in Borneo

Welcome to Borneo mates. We're in Sabah, more specifically, we're in Kota Kinabalu, home to the mountain of the same name.  Standing at over 4100m, it can be seen from anywhere in town.
Luckily, JB has already climbed it, so I don't have to.

Instead we chose to visit a wetlands Park (mangrove swamp) which promised sightings of birds too numerous to count.
I forked out for some binoculars and set off.  I only saw two birds, mates.  One that looked like a robin with a fake beak tied on, and a heron. And I didn't need the binos to see either one. ....

On the plus side, I did see some crabs, mud skippers, and best of all, two skinks (think lizard., but blacker), who were having a titanic scrap down in the mud.
Isn't nature wonderful........

Foreign pie news

Chicken Pie. (Kuala Lumpur airport)
Not a bad effort. Could be improved by the addition of some chicken.
 JB claims to have had some carrot and what the hopes was a pea in his.

Blueberry pie.  (Kuala Lumpur airport)
Showed promise initially, shortcrust pastry and lattice work on top. However, the complete absence of  anything resembling a blueberry In the filling let it down somewhat.
The Baker had also caught on to the idea of pie and custard. Unfortunately he chose to put the custard INSIDE the pie. And it wasn't strictly custard....

Still, two pies in an afternoon. We're on a roll......

Cave Rave

Today we caught the train to Batu Caves. A complex of, as the name suggests, caves.
But not any old caves, blog mates. No, these are a series of enormous caves that have been taken over by Hindus and turned into temples.

How to describe the scene?
It was a bit like the River Cave Ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach, only much,much bigger and of huge religious significance to Hindus.
So not like the River Caves at all then.....

At one point, I began to seriously wonder about that mushroom omelette I had last night.....

View the evidence and make up your own minds....

City Break

Good evening, blog mates, from steamy Kuala Lumpur, where JB and I have sneaked off for a short city break.
It's very,very busy. Lots of traffic and drynoise.  ( I'd probably go as far as to say it's busier than Bury on market day....)

We've spent the day sightseeing. Temples of all denominations ( and yes, I'm afraid that there are pics coming up), riding the monorail, dodging the traffic, and generally soaking up the atmosphere.

The highlight of the day for me was a visit to a Hindu Temple where a service was in full swing, with a heavy emphasis on the swing.
 The resident temple band were out in full force, belting out a jazz based number that wouldn't have been out of place at Ronnie Scott's club....


Anyway, here's a selection of the best of the day.

And here's one that probably isn't endorsed by the Malaysian tourist board.....

foreign pie news

Mini mushroom pie  (Kuala Lumpur)

Coming as it does after the enforced pie famine of this trip, this was a most welcome find.

Filling quite good, (though a bit sparse on the mushroom front really) .
Pastry disappointing. Too thick, and a bit heavy handed on the butter/lard component.

Still,  it was a pie......... (sort of )

Pestwatch updste

Cockroaches   20

Rats 4

Pineapple thieving monkeys 1

Daylight robbery

Today, JB and I became yet another statistic in Thailand's roll call of crime....

We were minding our own business, enjoying an afternoon's climbing, when we were mugged by a monkey.

The kleptomaniac beast made off with a bag containing our day's ration of pineapple and also, more upsettingly, a box of green curry flavoured cookies, which had formed part of JB's  valentine's day gift.  ( And before you judge me too harshly, there weren't that many options and the petrol stations were all shut.....)

JB gamely gave chase and managed to retrieve the cookies, but the pineapple was gone....

I won't pretend that we haven't been affected by this crime. Some of you will know that we suffered similarly at the paws of a badger last Summer.

Enough is enough. Tomorrow we leave for Kuala Lumpur, where (we hope) people can enjoy pineapples unmolested.....

Jaundice update

I just want to clarify that when I mentioned JB's jaundiced eye in the previous post, it was, of course just a turn of phrase. Worried readers can rest assured that JB's liver is still in top top condition.
Despite his best efforts......

Purple Phi Phi

Listen up, blog mates. The Red Cross DO NOT make emergency pie drops. Nor do they take kindly to you phoning them to ask where your meat pie is.........

Lesson learned there, I think.....

No matter, I hit upon the idea  substituting the humble samosa for the pie, (a poor substitute at best, I agree) with the result that we regained enough strength to move on to our next location.

And so we set sail from Ao Nang for Phi Phi. (Unfortunately, we hit rush hour, as you can see. ....)

Eventually, we managed to ease our way out, and after an uneventful couple of hours at sea ( no pirates, no kraken) we arrived at the delightful Island of Phi Phi.

We're currently holed up in a fairly ritzy resort (swimming pool, private beach...), although the effect was somewhat ruined by JB, who, casting a world weary and jaundiced eye around declared that " it's like a technicolour Butlins"....

Butlins or Prince's purple hideaway? 

You decide.

Down and out in Ao Nang

JB and I have been struck down by a mystery illness. It can't be malaria, we're on the ball there, prophylactically  speaking.
And it can't be Weils disease, Lord knows we've seen very few rats...
I suspect that we are suffering from severe pie deficiency. This scourge of the Tropics has felled many an intrepid traveller.

There is no cure (other than a well crafted pie, obviously).
We've resigned ourselves to resting on the beach and keeping hydrated. However, as we don't trust the water supply,we're having to make do with gin while we wait for the Red Cross to drop a Ginsters pasty or two....

Here's the view from our sick room.

The sun also sets.....

Welcome back to Thailand, fellow adventurers. We find ourselves in the lovely beachside setting of Ao Nang.
Having left the Mighty Mekong behind us, I was somewhat concerned about how the sun would be able to set.
I needn't have worried. The sun also sets over the Andaman Sea....

Pestwatch

Cockroaches 18
Rats 4
Horrible biting red ant things 1

danger UXB

Well mates, we've shaken the not inconsiderable dust of Laos from our trotters (and believe me, there was a whole lot of shaking going on....)
But before we move on to our next adventure, I want to share something that I've discovered about Laos.
Between 1964 & 1973, the Americans,in order to aid their efforts in Vietnam, launched a "secret war" against Laos. They dropped an estimated 2 million tons of bombs on the country,one payload every  8 minutes, apparently. Quite how this was a secret war is beyond me. You'd think someone would have complained about the noise.....
Worse still, only about 30% of the bombs actually went off, meaning that there's still an awful lot of unexploded stuff out there ...
 Subsequently, the US government made a payment to Laos to help them rebuild their runway which was inexplicably full of craters.
The Laos  government took the money zand used it to build a replica of the Arc De Triomphe, known locally as the Victory arch or the vertical runway, depending on which side of the fence you're on.
No wonder is so dusty........